So remember my last blog post where I said I was going on vacation, weekend in Fanime, half a week in Disneyland?
Well, my dog children ate half a bag of Milanos (Double Dark CHOCOLATE because of course), cost me a thousand dollars, and needless to say vacation canceled.
But! My babies are okay and that's what matters to me even if I am a little bitter about my Disney trip.
Money is a bitch.
I mean god you need it for everything and there just never seems to be enough to go around. I grew up relatively secure, middle class, my dad worked, my mom had a business on the side but mostly stayed home with me and my sister. I didn't want, I didn't need, I definitely had it easy. And then I got older, and I had to work and I dicovered I hated work. Well mostly retail. And let's be honest restaurant service sucks as well. And then later I found out that in order to make real money as an adult I'd need to go into a field in subjects I hated, Math and Science. You want to make money, be a doctor. You want to be rich, be an engineer. You want to change the world, be a teacher!
Scratch that last one, they don't make money so forget that.
Basically I lived with the fear as I got older that in order to do what I love (I.e. Sing, Write, or Act) I would always have to do something I hated. And that just sucks.
A realist will say that's life, you got to take the vinegar with the honey, you have to swallow the bitter for the sweet, and all because some self loathing asshole forever ago said so.
The idea is bullshit unfortunately that really is how life goes because now everything costs a billion dollars. It's insane.
I'm a writer. As of now? I make zero dollars a year, my husband is the worker bee and with compromises and chore balance, because he makes enough I can stay home and write full time. But I still feel horrible, I wish I contribute more financially. I feel like as a child and a teenager no one prepares us for how expensive life really is. Not surviving, but living a full life.
I hate to say it but I am accustomed to certain things, I like to travel, and change up the house. But I'm also a broke twenty two year old writer, who's joint bank acount has a lot of zeros and not in the way I wish it did.
To be honest I was embarassed to have to cancel the disney trip with my friend because I didn't have enough to pay my half, I've never experienced that problem in my life and it's not a good feeling.
I'm not writing this to say: so that's why I'm a writer guys to get rich. Because I'll be the first one to say I'm no JK Rowling.
I'm writing this post because maybe my dad was right. Be a writer, follow your dreams sure. But have a backup to support it, maybe?
But then how do you find a backup, when you're already employed in your dream? How do you pick something, what job do you choose to do for the next 60 years? Do I just pick career two on my most wanted list, what if that's like writing and it's a shot in the dark? Or do I pick something I know will keep me comfortable but I'll hate for the rest of my life. I'll dread every office day and lose all 5 days of my week to something that drains the life out of me. Like how do you honestly choose that?
Something to think about for sure. Comment below what you wanted to be as a kid, and what you do today.
Until Next time xx